Dating a co-worker has got to be by far the dumbest shit I have ever done in my entire life. I have done some really dumb shit too, like thinking I wasn't pregnant at 15 because "morning sickness" happens in the morning, and I clearly threw up half-past noon, so that can't be morning sickness, oh but wait that I was even pregnant at 15 because I thought virgins couldn't get pregnant. Or like the time I tried to steal a car off of a Jiffy Lube lot and got caught, because if it's parked there common sense should tell you that it might need some work and won't run!! Dumb shit like that, but even they don't measure up to the blatant stupidity in dating a co-worker. More dumb shit, I honestly thought people telling me not to date a co-worker once they found out I was dating a co-worker was just the cliche thing for them to say. I didn't think they could produce evidence to back-up why I shouldn't date a co-worker whenever I asked them. This inability to explain reason made me discredit their warnings. More dumb shit, despite warnings, we became a couple. Immediately I knew I had done some dumb shit. To sum it all up, couple, pregnancy, miscarriage, gossip, rumors, more gossip, more rumors, fights, public displays of hatred, baby lotion all over my car, embarassment, diet coke all over my car, and non-stop harassment. We still work together and it still continues, on his end, not mine of course.
Never date a co-worker is not a cliche it should be in the book of Psalms.
Friday, May 20, 2011
Saturday, March 21, 2009
25 THINGS ABOUT YOU: FROM FACEBOOK
1. My husband is my first, we became pregnant at 15 and were parents at 16 (see pics).
2. I am a very maternal mother, I love Austin and Mason very much, they truly are a part of my souls, and I know it sounds cliche, but I would do anything for them.
3. I left my husband in the middle of the night with two kids and $70 and no where to go, I ended up in N.C. at my sister's house, got a job the next day, my own car, my own apartment, and had a rather bitter sweet experience. (we have obviously reconciled and I don't feel the need to explain myself or this situation any further~ insert purple ribbon here).
4. I have anxiety and panic disorder, I don't know why I just do, and I have managed to control this without medicinal intervention.
5. In ninth grade I covered a snowball with wite-out and nailed it at the principal's face and it was a direct hit, I received a long talk regarding race and detention, I then nailed my math teacher with a snowball from her classroom window, she slipped and fell on the catwalk and was in a wheelchair the remainder of the year...we've talked since high school, she forgives me.
6. I am Scottish, Irish, Hungarian, and Black which aparently makes me either Black or Hispanic people can't seem to figure me out.
7. When I am speaking to someone with a accent I inadvertently pick it up and relay it back them which can be offensive at times,and, at times, I will purposely speak to strangers in random accents, so as to not waste my talent and for self entertainment.
8. I mourn the death of my dad daily. I was with him when he died, Melissa was home, my mom was at work, and I was filled with such fear and disbelief that I was paralyzed. I just remember feeling like everything was surreal and I was waiting to come out of it. Standing, watching my dad fighting for his life in and out of conciousness and I just stood there dumbfounded, unable to console him. I wish I had told him that I loved him, and that we would be okay and he would be okay, and hugged him so he wouldn't be scared or alone before he finally stayed unconcious.
9. Taking care of my dad inspired my love for medicine and caring for patients, however, I want to be a detective when I grow up!!
10. I have been arrested. Yes Me!
11. I had five car accidents in one month, in this two of my cars were totaled.
12. I was rushed to the hospital from a club.!
13.I love to sing! My son's love for me to tuck them in and sing to them (Austin tries to act like he's too old for it but he loves it!) My favorite song to sing to them is Brian McKnight My Prayer and My Cherie Amour (because my dad used to tuck me in and sing it to me).
14.I have a hard time getting along with my mom because we are soooo alike yet we have so many differences.
15. In the days of the struggle I have gone more than a week without eating, and lived some time without electricity.
16. I worked as a Medical Assistant for 8 years, during this time I have performed: 1 Colonoscopy, 1 Tracheostomy, 1 FNA of a thyroid tumor, 1 Colonoscopy on a colostomy, Put in hundreds of sutures, drained hundreds of absesses, hyfrecated skin carcinoma, administered thousands of injections and blood draws and IV’s, touched and smelled and examined more things than I care to mention, and through all of this the only thing that has ever made me near-faint was a 2 yr old Bartholin Cyst that was infected!!
17. I chased a man with a knife away screaming and running like a man woman, he was trying to break into my house, or was a peeping Tom either way was he was going to get shanked!!!
18. I had my first son at 16 and hid the pregnancy until I was 7 mos. I gained 112lbs with this pregnancy and a little more than that with my second ( no more for me).
19. I counsel young women/women regarding teen pregnancy, teen parenthood, domestic violence, child custody/child support, divorce, marriage, sex, and education, and any other wisdom I can pass on to them.
20. I was almost arrested for solicitation. I NEED TO ADD THAT I WAS ONLY ROLE PLAYING AND THAT'S ALL....THE SECOND PART OF THE SENTENCE WAS NOT POSTED FOR SOME REASON, WE WERE JUST PRETENDING LIKE I WAS A HOOKER AND COPS WERE WATCHING US....!!!!
21. My mom is one of ten, My cousins are like my siblings we are tight, I LOVE THEM SOOOO MUCH!!! We don’t get to see each other often but when we do we are little kids building forts in Uncle Eddies living room all over again!!!
22. I talk way too much!! I love to talk! I love to hear my own voice! It’s therapeutic, I think!?!?
23. I have ADD and can not stand long stories I have a hard time paying attention when I am talking let alone someone else! When I look away my mind has left!
24. I have managed to maintain a 3.2 GPA, with two kids, two jobs, and no studying.
25. I got my eyebrow pierced when I was thirteen.
BONUSES:
26.I met Steve McNair in a 7eleven and I coincidentally had one a pink McNair jersey, and I just stood there looking at him, and he touched my shoulder and was like “you okay?” and I was like “yea”. I wanted him to sign my shirt but I watched him buy his stuff and get in his car……so stupid!!
27. Some of the best memories I have are from April and Macky and that era of my life.
28. I’m allergic to shellfish, kiwi, mango, cashews, pistachios, almonds, and macademia nuts.
29. I like porn! (favs: Cherokee, Pinky, Mr. Marcus, Havana Ginger, Mandingo, Roxy Reynolds, I assure you I'm not gay, I just think women are attractive.) Porn is so much more than a visual aid, it serves as reference guide.
30. I used to be in a girl group with my sister and a friend who’s name I will allow to remain anonymous, I think it was called BBW, we had a sax, a vocalist, and a hit stix drum player!! LMAO!!!! We performed in Century Apts. While my parents videotaped us! LMAO!!! I have the Beta tape to prove it! (men ain’t got no money even though they try to buy my love…..and then we got a fourth member named Marissa and we sang Can you stand the rain at the Deertree Clubhouse….the good ol days!
31. I can count the number of people I have been intimate with on one hand with room to spare.
32. I had MRSA, it sucked!!! You'd be surprised how much pain the human body can endure, I allowed myself to get as close to the edge as possible and then I jumped into a river of Vodka and we've been best friends ever since!!!
33. I was a honor student in high school and I dropped out of high school half of a semester from graduating, there was no other way!!
34.I turned down the opportunity to go to college for free, because the stipulation was I had to get through Med School and specialize in Ob/Gyn and though I love medicine, the time restraints placed on docs will not allow me to be a "good" mother or wife.
35. I bite my nails horribly!!! I attribute # 32 to this factor.
37. I lack patience. Please take note of this.....I could go on for days: refer to #22
2. I am a very maternal mother, I love Austin and Mason very much, they truly are a part of my souls, and I know it sounds cliche, but I would do anything for them.
3. I left my husband in the middle of the night with two kids and $70 and no where to go, I ended up in N.C. at my sister's house, got a job the next day, my own car, my own apartment, and had a rather bitter sweet experience. (we have obviously reconciled and I don't feel the need to explain myself or this situation any further~ insert purple ribbon here).
4. I have anxiety and panic disorder, I don't know why I just do, and I have managed to control this without medicinal intervention.
5. In ninth grade I covered a snowball with wite-out and nailed it at the principal's face and it was a direct hit, I received a long talk regarding race and detention, I then nailed my math teacher with a snowball from her classroom window, she slipped and fell on the catwalk and was in a wheelchair the remainder of the year...we've talked since high school, she forgives me.
6. I am Scottish, Irish, Hungarian, and Black which aparently makes me either Black or Hispanic people can't seem to figure me out.
7. When I am speaking to someone with a accent I inadvertently pick it up and relay it back them which can be offensive at times,and, at times, I will purposely speak to strangers in random accents, so as to not waste my talent and for self entertainment.
8. I mourn the death of my dad daily. I was with him when he died, Melissa was home, my mom was at work, and I was filled with such fear and disbelief that I was paralyzed. I just remember feeling like everything was surreal and I was waiting to come out of it. Standing, watching my dad fighting for his life in and out of conciousness and I just stood there dumbfounded, unable to console him. I wish I had told him that I loved him, and that we would be okay and he would be okay, and hugged him so he wouldn't be scared or alone before he finally stayed unconcious.
9. Taking care of my dad inspired my love for medicine and caring for patients, however, I want to be a detective when I grow up!!
10. I have been arrested. Yes Me!
11. I had five car accidents in one month, in this two of my cars were totaled.
12. I was rushed to the hospital from a club.!
13.I love to sing! My son's love for me to tuck them in and sing to them (Austin tries to act like he's too old for it but he loves it!) My favorite song to sing to them is Brian McKnight My Prayer and My Cherie Amour (because my dad used to tuck me in and sing it to me).
14.I have a hard time getting along with my mom because we are soooo alike yet we have so many differences.
15. In the days of the struggle I have gone more than a week without eating, and lived some time without electricity.
16. I worked as a Medical Assistant for 8 years, during this time I have performed: 1 Colonoscopy, 1 Tracheostomy, 1 FNA of a thyroid tumor, 1 Colonoscopy on a colostomy, Put in hundreds of sutures, drained hundreds of absesses, hyfrecated skin carcinoma, administered thousands of injections and blood draws and IV’s, touched and smelled and examined more things than I care to mention, and through all of this the only thing that has ever made me near-faint was a 2 yr old Bartholin Cyst that was infected!!
17. I chased a man with a knife away screaming and running like a man woman, he was trying to break into my house, or was a peeping Tom either way was he was going to get shanked!!!
18. I had my first son at 16 and hid the pregnancy until I was 7 mos. I gained 112lbs with this pregnancy and a little more than that with my second ( no more for me).
19. I counsel young women/women regarding teen pregnancy, teen parenthood, domestic violence, child custody/child support, divorce, marriage, sex, and education, and any other wisdom I can pass on to them.
20. I was almost arrested for solicitation. I NEED TO ADD THAT I WAS ONLY ROLE PLAYING AND THAT'S ALL....THE SECOND PART OF THE SENTENCE WAS NOT POSTED FOR SOME REASON, WE WERE JUST PRETENDING LIKE I WAS A HOOKER AND COPS WERE WATCHING US....!!!!
21. My mom is one of ten, My cousins are like my siblings we are tight, I LOVE THEM SOOOO MUCH!!! We don’t get to see each other often but when we do we are little kids building forts in Uncle Eddies living room all over again!!!
22. I talk way too much!! I love to talk! I love to hear my own voice! It’s therapeutic, I think!?!?
23. I have ADD and can not stand long stories I have a hard time paying attention when I am talking let alone someone else! When I look away my mind has left!
24. I have managed to maintain a 3.2 GPA, with two kids, two jobs, and no studying.
25. I got my eyebrow pierced when I was thirteen.
BONUSES:
26.I met Steve McNair in a 7eleven and I coincidentally had one a pink McNair jersey, and I just stood there looking at him, and he touched my shoulder and was like “you okay?” and I was like “yea”. I wanted him to sign my shirt but I watched him buy his stuff and get in his car……so stupid!!
27. Some of the best memories I have are from April and Macky and that era of my life.
28. I’m allergic to shellfish, kiwi, mango, cashews, pistachios, almonds, and macademia nuts.
29. I like porn! (favs: Cherokee, Pinky, Mr. Marcus, Havana Ginger, Mandingo, Roxy Reynolds, I assure you I'm not gay, I just think women are attractive.) Porn is so much more than a visual aid, it serves as reference guide.
30. I used to be in a girl group with my sister and a friend who’s name I will allow to remain anonymous, I think it was called BBW, we had a sax, a vocalist, and a hit stix drum player!! LMAO!!!! We performed in Century Apts. While my parents videotaped us! LMAO!!! I have the Beta tape to prove it! (men ain’t got no money even though they try to buy my love…..and then we got a fourth member named Marissa and we sang Can you stand the rain at the Deertree Clubhouse….the good ol days!
31. I can count the number of people I have been intimate with on one hand with room to spare.
32. I had MRSA, it sucked!!! You'd be surprised how much pain the human body can endure, I allowed myself to get as close to the edge as possible and then I jumped into a river of Vodka and we've been best friends ever since!!!
33. I was a honor student in high school and I dropped out of high school half of a semester from graduating, there was no other way!!
34.I turned down the opportunity to go to college for free, because the stipulation was I had to get through Med School and specialize in Ob/Gyn and though I love medicine, the time restraints placed on docs will not allow me to be a "good" mother or wife.
35. I bite my nails horribly!!! I attribute # 32 to this factor.
37. I lack patience. Please take note of this.....I could go on for days: refer to #22
I have been married since 2005. The following information is just a thought and to see how other people feel about the subject matter.Marriage to me is what it is to most of western civilization, but recently many things have changed in my mind and I've spent the better part of the last several years thinking about marriage and society/culture as a whole and what it means.I've begun to open my eyes a bit, and pay attention to what is happening in the world, in hopes that I might not be yet another blind sheep who follows the same footsteps and mistakes that have been made time and time again. What got me started was the sheer divorce statistics in this country. 50% of marriages end in divorce. Of the half that are left, 50% of those seem to want to divorce, but don't because of any number of reasons (children, religion, etc). The question I was forced to ask myself, is, what are we doing wrong as a society that makes so many people want to get out of marriage?Have we, as a society, outgrown the ~need~ for marriage? Are we outwardly, and publicly trying to cling to a tradition, that, for most intents and purposes, isn't absolutely necessary anymore? Look at our culture, for the most part, people have the ability to live independently of each other these days. Jobs, homes, you name it, we all have the capability.Also, when couples marry, the natural assumption is to live together (are there stats on couples that marry, but do NOT co-reside? I don't know, but I'd be interested). I realize there are many social, and especially economic advantages to living together, but does doing so, especially in today's culture, squash the love and desire out of us? Let me clarify. Name one roommate you've ever had that you didn't get sick of? I cannot. What makes us think, that our spouse would be immune to that affect? Daily routine, and little separation to me, seems to breed complacency. Complacency drowns out all of the sensation of "missing" someone, and voids the tiny bit of uncertainty in ones relationship that really stokes the fire of passion. Is one really willing to douse the fire of passion, in exchange for cheaper living?How about marriage from a legal standpoint? Again, religious or political beliefs aside (i know they are important - not trying to ignore these, only trying to get to the common denominator) - what does legally binding yourself to someone gain you, that you didn't have already? Some might say that it is your solemn promise to stay together. First, based on what we observe, is this kind of promise even practical? Second, why do we need to legally bind ourselves to make this promise? Shouldn't that level of trust be there already, even if not practical? Does something change the day after you get married? Do you love someone more because you have legally bound yourself to them? And, it seems, it's this legal binding that ultimately creates havoc when a decision to leave the marriage (whether jointly or singly decided..). It's a field day for lawyers in the business, and, in my observation (again, welcoming any other point of view, or cases) magnifies an already tough situation.In light of all this, I'm not trying to be a gloom, or, have a bad attitude. I'm a curious scientist by nature, and long to find the solution, no matter how simple, crazy, unbelievable, or complex.Soooooo, fellow readers, could this be a reasonable start, at explaining why so many marriages today end in divorce? Are we trying to maintain a tradition, that culturally, philisophically, and humanly isn't possible anymore? Am I a complete nut? Have I only realized what many already have? I have a hard time believing the answer is something as simple as chosing the wrong mate when the statistics are so high, so it has to be something more defined than that scenario. What is so different with today's marriages when compared to generations before, other than more women were "homemakers" and stayed at home and the standards for society have changed, divorce is now celebrated, before divorce signified failure and shame?I'll open the floor to all comments, suggestions, flames, and experiences...
I AM SO SICK OF TELLING YOU MY RACE!!
I live my life like this: I have no race. I am me. I am so much more than the color of my skin. The color of my skin is just a marker of individuality a reminder of the various ethnicities that make up my dna. What one person does, does not predict the steps that I will take nor the words that I will speak, and I will not accept classification into any category other than that of my own. When anyone tries to classify me or put a title on me I disregard it as a lack of intellect and excuse their behavior much like society disregards a mentally disabled persons random behavior. For this I live in inner peace that can not be touched by any person. People can think and say what they want, they are entitled to their opinions, their opinions or negativity only has power when you yourself believe what they have said, and I don't. Ignorance lives not because of the person who projects it, but by the person who reflects on it, Chelsey 2009.
A MUCH NEEDED MARITAL LAW
Marriage should be a three year contract with the option to renew!After the three years both parties would have to renew their contract in order for their marriage to continue. In the event that one party did not wish to renew their marital contract, both parties would have to reach an agreement regarding the resolution of the marriage. I know this doesn't seem feasible because there are other elements that can complicate the matter, i.e., finances and children.I think that if each spouse knows that there is a possibility that their actions may result in the conclusion of their marriage and the commitments that were made within, then maybe they would not take their marriage for granted.I honestly believe when people say forever they mean, forever you will have to put up with my sh*t.Also this would change the dynamics of the arguments you would have cause I don't know about ya'll but I would be like "that's fine, and in one year when we have to renew my contract I will reflect back to this moment, and it may be the very reason why I don't renew it"Just a thought.
Monday, March 16, 2009
Length vs. Girth
So many people ask this question and I believe I have the answer keeping it as plain and simple as possible.
Length vs. Girth
The length of the vaginal canal varies from woman to woman, on average the length of the actual vaginal canal from entrance to cervix is seven inches. Of these seven inches, the first four inches, from opening up, are populated by an abundance of nerves. These nerves provide the necessary touch sense required for sexual stimulation.
Many women believe that increased penile length will aid in the production of an orgasm. However, the vaginal anatomy does not support this. This would lead me to believe that girth would be more imperative in achieving the sexual stimulation needed to bring forth orgasmic response in a female. Vaginas vary much like penises do, and vaginas can also change depending on various instances. A woman who has beared children with vaginal deliveries will likely be wider than prior to bearing children but the vaginal canal will not grow longer.
With that said the widening of the vaginal canal would then require a wider penis in order for touch sensation to be achieved by the nerves within the first four inches of the vagina.
So why do women state that they achieved orgasms or experienced "better" sex with a longer penis? My theory is the idea of the larger penis provided the necessary mental stimulation that is also imperative in the achievement of a female orgasm. The idea of "more" in the human mind seems to be stimulating in a positive nature and holds true to various topics not just sex, i.e. money, land, etc. So the fantasy-like mental stimulation brought forth increased arousal which enhanced the sexual incident for the "recipient" not so much the increased length of the penis. It is basically a pleasureful visual stimulant and not so much a physical, much like breasts and butts for men.
A few suggestions for my orgasm-lacking ladies:
1. Perform Kegel exercises to tighten and strengthen the vaginal canal.
2. Perform Kegel exercises in a consistent rythmic motion during sex.
3. Use your mind. Allow your mind to be a mental stimulant. Women have been known to bring forth orgasms using only their mind and absolutely no physical stimulation.
4. Once you have achieved a orgasm without clitoral stimulation remember what actions inspired the orgasm and vocalize it to your partner so that it can be achieved again.
5. Sexuality is imperative. If you feel sexy you will be more sexual.
6. Porn is a visual aid as well as a stimulant. Use it.
7. Find your G-spot study it, know how to locate it and teach your partner.....this is often discussed and rarely practiced. Stimulation of the G-spot is what brings on female ejaculation a.k.a. extreme orgasms.
O.K. I am finished brainstorming for now.....knowing that my mother may read this has put a dampen on my inspiration. .
Length vs. Girth
The length of the vaginal canal varies from woman to woman, on average the length of the actual vaginal canal from entrance to cervix is seven inches. Of these seven inches, the first four inches, from opening up, are populated by an abundance of nerves. These nerves provide the necessary touch sense required for sexual stimulation.
Many women believe that increased penile length will aid in the production of an orgasm. However, the vaginal anatomy does not support this. This would lead me to believe that girth would be more imperative in achieving the sexual stimulation needed to bring forth orgasmic response in a female. Vaginas vary much like penises do, and vaginas can also change depending on various instances. A woman who has beared children with vaginal deliveries will likely be wider than prior to bearing children but the vaginal canal will not grow longer.
With that said the widening of the vaginal canal would then require a wider penis in order for touch sensation to be achieved by the nerves within the first four inches of the vagina.
So why do women state that they achieved orgasms or experienced "better" sex with a longer penis? My theory is the idea of the larger penis provided the necessary mental stimulation that is also imperative in the achievement of a female orgasm. The idea of "more" in the human mind seems to be stimulating in a positive nature and holds true to various topics not just sex, i.e. money, land, etc. So the fantasy-like mental stimulation brought forth increased arousal which enhanced the sexual incident for the "recipient" not so much the increased length of the penis. It is basically a pleasureful visual stimulant and not so much a physical, much like breasts and butts for men.
A few suggestions for my orgasm-lacking ladies:
1. Perform Kegel exercises to tighten and strengthen the vaginal canal.
2. Perform Kegel exercises in a consistent rythmic motion during sex.
3. Use your mind. Allow your mind to be a mental stimulant. Women have been known to bring forth orgasms using only their mind and absolutely no physical stimulation.
4. Once you have achieved a orgasm without clitoral stimulation remember what actions inspired the orgasm and vocalize it to your partner so that it can be achieved again.
5. Sexuality is imperative. If you feel sexy you will be more sexual.
6. Porn is a visual aid as well as a stimulant. Use it.
7. Find your G-spot study it, know how to locate it and teach your partner.....this is often discussed and rarely practiced. Stimulation of the G-spot is what brings on female ejaculation a.k.a. extreme orgasms.
O.K. I am finished brainstorming for now.....knowing that my mother may read this has put a dampen on my inspiration.
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
AUSTIN AND MASON THE HUMOR WITHIN PARENTING
Mason since he could speak and had discovered "passing gas" begain to refer to flatulence as " Butt Noise" and occasionally " Really Loud Butt Noise".
Austin at 6 on chivalry when being instructed to hold a door open for a female, he wanted to know why, and I explained to him about being a gentleman, and ladies first, and his 6 yr old mind reverted back to the days of kings and knights, and stated "then it should have been lady's first when it was time to slay a dragon, or lady's first to go to war"
Mason at 2,3, and 4 on Uncle Kevin: "i'm going to beat you down" (mason then goes into a WWF/Mike Tyson early twenties rampage and destroys pillows and stuffed animals reenacting the damage he is going to do to Uncle Kevin.
Mason last Sun.on daddy first thing in the morning: "daddy the air smells funny" daddy, "like what?" after catching a breeze from daddy's mouth he discovered the culprit and said "eww daddy you make a butt noise in your breath"
Austin at two once performed Maxwell into a microphone with every emotion expressed in the lyrics in the song, and I have it all on video!
Mason at three feeling inspired stood up on a chair in a restaurant and announced very loudly that he was going to throw up in the street and watch the people step on it.
Mason at 3 when asked where Harry the Hamster has gone he states" Harry, has a red car, he is in school with his friends, and he is coming back later" Harry's life was ended after escaping from his cage and ending his life by attempting to chew and swallow a "AA" battery.
Austin after a field trip to a center to discuss sexual health and reproduction, decided to come home and share some of the info he had obtained against my wishes, he decided to go straight to the segment about erections, ejaculation, and wet dreams. Not so funny but I'm glad he felt comfortable enough to talk to me about that, and I pray that it never happens again.
Austin's phase of "Oh shit" and "Oh Fuck" he said it just like it is supposed to be said when someone almost hits a car or drops a glass.
Mason's phase of "Kiss My Ass" and " Shut the Fuck up" which was said randomly with no rhyme or reason at any given moment without any fair warning.
.......................................................
Austin at 6 on chivalry when being instructed to hold a door open for a female, he wanted to know why, and I explained to him about being a gentleman, and ladies first, and his 6 yr old mind reverted back to the days of kings and knights, and stated "then it should have been lady's first when it was time to slay a dragon, or lady's first to go to war"
Mason at 2,3, and 4 on Uncle Kevin: "i'm going to beat you down" (mason then goes into a WWF/Mike Tyson early twenties rampage and destroys pillows and stuffed animals reenacting the damage he is going to do to Uncle Kevin.
Mason last Sun.on daddy first thing in the morning: "daddy the air smells funny" daddy, "like what?" after catching a breeze from daddy's mouth he discovered the culprit and said "eww daddy you make a butt noise in your breath"
Austin at two once performed Maxwell into a microphone with every emotion expressed in the lyrics in the song, and I have it all on video!
Mason at three feeling inspired stood up on a chair in a restaurant and announced very loudly that he was going to throw up in the street and watch the people step on it.
Mason at 3 when asked where Harry the Hamster has gone he states" Harry, has a red car, he is in school with his friends, and he is coming back later" Harry's life was ended after escaping from his cage and ending his life by attempting to chew and swallow a "AA" battery.
Austin after a field trip to a center to discuss sexual health and reproduction, decided to come home and share some of the info he had obtained against my wishes, he decided to go straight to the segment about erections, ejaculation, and wet dreams. Not so funny but I'm glad he felt comfortable enough to talk to me about that, and I pray that it never happens again.
Austin's phase of "Oh shit" and "Oh Fuck" he said it just like it is supposed to be said when someone almost hits a car or drops a glass.
Mason's phase of "Kiss My Ass" and " Shut the Fuck up" which was said randomly with no rhyme or reason at any given moment without any fair warning.
.......................................................
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